Sunday, October 25, 2009

How to survive anything.

   Let us address that elephant in the room of our wandering mind. Sometime you need to look at an event (whether possible or merely probable) and seriously consider what the consequences and signs of such an event occurring will be. You know what I'm talking about now, no? Resting on the very tip of your tongue; the word crossing everyone's mind and body lately, "Apocalypse".

   One cannot hide when they are considering the end of humanity. At the very least, that is what most of humanity is thinking. Many want an "End", or at least see such an occurrence. If these thoughts plague you or have kept you up at night then there is something vital you need to know!

  Where will you be? What will you be doing when the sky bends down, the rains rise from the earth and everything is engulfed in heat, light, warmth, danger, fear, anger, kindness et al Humanity?

   The fact of the matter is, humanity is as predictable as you would be to yourself. So logically, if you can think of it it can happen to you. Now, I'm not trying to scare anyone, that is as far from the point as one could possibly take this.

   My personal belief is that this whole apocalypse ordeal will not be a great catastrophic event (at first, anyway). The word "Apocalypse" (as many of you fine readers already know) literally means "Unveiling". It's not an end by any means, contrarily the apocalypse would be more like a changing of the rules than an end to humanity.

   So here it goes, the secret to surviving anything, anyway; "Coping"!

   Whatever form the apocalypse takes, no matter what kind of danger presents itself or what new knowledge awaits us at the end of the calendar, if you can cope (roll with the punches, act on your feet, shoot on the run, react on the fly, etcetera) than you can do anything you could possibly think of when the time comes.

   One of our saving-graces as creatures of conscious thought is that spark of creativity that is within every one of us. If you teach yourself to react to your gut instincts accurately and confidently than I assure you nothing is out of reach. Even heaven falling from the skies cannot deter you (so to speak).

   In any case, you can take that back to the dinner table. Feel free to spread this bit of wisdom around and get people talking (even if it just happens to be a relative telling you about what constitutes appropriate at a dinner table).

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Keeping Your Chin Up

Let's consider our current economical status, shall we? I recently quit my job, and with no way to pay the bills, I'm looking for some alternatives. So here it is:

Making Money While Unemployed: A Tentative Plan

Hustle: Everyone has some sort of skill, but not everyone knows how to use it. Cute little girls that know how to play poker or shoot pool well may find it to their advantage to convince an unsuspecting opponent to put money down in his own favor. men are especially vulnerable to this, due the fact that many of them are convinced to be of the stronger sex. If you find yourself in a situation that you can easily weasel your way through with the use of your charm and dulling down your demeanor, don't hesitate to show an over-confident nobody what you're made of.

Seasonal Yardwork: Whether it's raking leaves, shoveling snow, or trimming hedges, someone will need it done. Take advantage of the elderly, for example. If you don't have the tools to do this sort of thing yourself, keep in mind that they're inexpensive and not hard to come by. Consider borrowing the necessities.

Spanging: We've all done it at one time or another - spare-changin', or "spanging." Though not the proudest of practices, a little can add up to a lot with enough charisma on your side. If you have some difficulty finding a fairly generous crowd, there's always the option of giving them something back and attracting them with one's bardic talents. In opposition to being an annoyance and asking for change, playing an instrument out on the street with a hat laid out for tips, although storybook stereotypical, will grant you more adoration than disgust.

Fluid Donation: Not so much a donation if you're recieving money for it, but this kind of gesture may just get a few extra on-the-spot dollars in your pocket. Although blood is widely accepted, consider plasma or sperm donations if you're focused on money for your generosity.

Relevant Links:

Selling Your Goods: No, we're not talking prostitution here! Maybe you've got a bit of a knack for crafting, or you've just come across some old junk in the attic. Don't be a pack-rat - there are plenty of places to get rid of what you've got for a profit. Consider your local classifieds, craigslist, eBay, an Etsy shop, or a local pawn shop, for example.

Freelancing: Maybe the rason you need a little extra is because your job wasn't so fulfilling, or because you simply can't do what you want to do with your life. Perhaps you have the skill it takes, but not the recognition. Maybe you just lack all the right connections. The only way to grab life by the horns is to put yourself out there. Start by donig favors for friends in order to get someone to testify for your work. Look online for websites like GAF that are looking to connect freelancers with potential employers. One may have to take on small jobs at first, so be sure to use this as an opportunity to start a portfolio to prove your worth. Remember also that advertising, when done correctly, is more effective than costly. If you think you need some preactice before you try to sell what you've got(as far as the entertainment business goes), keep an eye out for casting calls and amateur nights. Most importantly - and I can't stress this enough - put yourself out there.

Blogging: Although it has yet to make any profit for me personally, with decent penmanship and excellent grammar and creativity, you may have what it takes. Google offers advertising services which may gain you a few extra dollars here and there. Of course, if you're not the type to fill your site with ads, you may want to resort to writing about what people want to hear about. Yes, I'm getting a little mainstream here. I'm talking journalism. As unsavory as it seems to me, if sports, how-tos, or traveling is your thing, you might find your calling by writing on a specific topic week after week, issue by issue. If something interests you, write away!